Connecting with my teen by inviting her technology too!

So, maybe the unschoolers among us might relate to this story 🌠. We have pancakes every second Sunday when my husband is home  (he works away and I am on my own with our 4 kids most of the time). I have a 15 yo daughter who, like many teens, prefers to be in her room either sleeping or phoning or reading or iPading or snapchatting friends than have a cozy Sunday brunch with the fam! Yes this has gotten me feeling sad and defeated many times.  However this morning once pancakes were ready I said to come and join us and she was watching Harry Potter and wanted to stay in her room and keep eating what she had made for herself and watch that movie.  So, we have always had a principle (not a rule) of no technology at the table (or wherever we are eating together). In a random reverse move I said ok well,  bring your guac (she had made for herself), bring your phone,  and come and bless us with your presence anyway cos we would like you to join us. You can keep watching Harry Potter. So she did,  and what I saw emerge from this moment of my opening up to what's possible was a wonderful sparking of Harry Potter lines being exchanged between my kids (as her phone continued to play right there on the table propped up by the bananas) and there was laughter and she was there with us, and for me that was a big win.  We had moments to cherish together,  even accompanied by technology at the table which we usually feverishly balk at. When there could have been, and often has been in the past,  combat and confrontation,  there was acceptance and opening, flexibility and appreciation for our teens ways.  Just sharing this to encourage anyone else who feels strongly about not having technology at the table with the family, like we do, that there are times when it can actually embellish and sparkle-ise the family interaction.  It can actually add rather than take away.  It also highlights the big difference between rules and principles. The former is rigid, tight, unforgiving while the latter permits openness and acceptance of what is,  dropping resistance and creating space for connection, which at the end of the day underpins why we moved towards unschooling ways in the first place. Not to do with learning or educational goals. Just connection,  relationship and trust. It's a constant work in progress and for every step forward I tend to take two back.  This was one of the steps forward and that has given me a warm inner glow, just for today 🌟